


Softer Things

by Hollowgayle



Category: The Tunnels Series - Roderick Gordon & Brian Williams
Genre: (It's mentioned and it's minor but it's gross), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Familial Affection, Gen, emetophobia tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-04 00:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21188294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollowgayle/pseuds/Hollowgayle
Summary: Rebecca One and Two share something secret, before they have to part ways for the Burrows family. Again.





	Softer Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is a deleted scene that didn't fit into Chapter 8 of "A Quieter Place." In a society where you're not so much as allowed to mourn dead family, I would imagine gentle affection/touch is even harder to come by.

The day she learns to navigate the Dark Light is the night they discover gentle touch. She had been dreading it more than anything, hurting her sister the way she had been hurt- Causing her the same discomfort that had left her retching up bile for an hour in their Citadel chambers. But Rebecca Two stomachs it better, somehow. If Rebecca One is the obedient one, she supposes her sister is the tough one- So there’s no need for her to hold back Two’s hair through her gagging, or brush stressed tears from her eyes with her sheets, because none of those things ever come.

The sleeplessness does, though.

Sitting awake together that night, she isn’t sure what spurs her to thread her fingers through the hair near the nape of her twin’s neck anyway, but the touch makes Rebecca Two freeze mid-sentence.

“What are you doing?”

The question burns like a hot iron, and Rebecca One nearly jerks back her hand in surprise, unable to answer. But as her fingertips draw back from her sister’s scalp, the other fumbles.

“No, don’t stop. I just meant…”

Rebecca Two looks at her with an intent frown, and goosebumps shivering up her neck and down her arms. Rebecca One feels them beneath her fingertips, before those digits comb through her sister’s jet black hair. She offers a small, uncertain shrug, the gesture taught with nerves. Rebecca Two stays staring, and Rebecca One breathes out slowly, averting her gaze from that of her sister to the hand slowly working knots out near the base of her skull.

“It’s kind of nice, isn’t it? In a way.”

Rebecca One is the one who asks the question, but she wouldn’t know, and she isn’t sure who she’s asking it of. Herself? Her sister? It’s nice for her, for Rebecca Two to let her help, and touch her in a way that isn’t violent. But her sister seems unsure what to do with the sensation, her expression grappling with more than she knows how to handle as she stares at their blank white wall. “Father wouldn’t want us doing this.”

“Wouldn’t want me brushing your hair?”

Her sister shoots her a glare that is all knives, and once more she nearly retracts her hand. But Rebecca Two leans into it as she draws it away, and Rebecca One tightens her jaw. There is a brief silence as they stare at each other, before Rebecca Two’s expression softens into a frown.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

She takes a deep breath in before she huffs in acknowledgement, not bothering to argue. Of course Rebecca One knows what she means- Has there ever been a time they weren’t on the same wavelength, didn’t understand each other? She thinks not. But she rises anyway, biting her bottom lip and frowning back as she returns the challenge. “Well you’re not stopping me.”

“Because it feels nice,” Rebecca Two replies testily, her eyes snapping back to their blank wall with a vague air of irritation.

“Then stop complaining, or I’ll stop.”

That threat seems to shut her sister up, despite the vaguely irritated chittering sound that leaves her in response, brief and akin to a grunt of annoyance. They sit there in silence for a little while, Rebecca One slowly working the knots out of her sister’s hair from a full day of being tied up in a ponytail. That’s another thing that feels nice. Letting her hair down, after hours of having it raked back right against her scalp.

A nervous laugh leaves her as she finishes, smoothing her sister’s hair down with a gentle pet of her palm and looking over her handiwork. “There,” she says, and exhales sharply. “Done.”

Rebecca Two nods slowly, gulping down her heart as it rises in her throat. She feels nauseous in a good way. It’s the first time she’s had to wrestle with a feeling like that, and she turns to look at her sister, taking in a shaky breath. “Yeah,” she mumbles, and can’t meet her sister’s eyes as she reaches out to brush fingertips over the ends of the other girl’s hair. “Do you think I could-”

“Yes,” Rebecca One says all too quickly, practically vibrating with the anxiousness of it all. She’s eager to feel what’s already made her so shaky, and the way her sister reaches out makes her feel like she could explode.

“Turn around then,” Two says terse with nerves, and Rebecca One does, startling at the feeling of fingertips on the nape of her neck. It’s a whole new thrill. Her head tilts to the side, and she has to swallow something rising in her throat, a low, steady clicking sound that comes from deep in her chest as she’s pet.

“Father definitely wouldn’t want us doing this,” she feels the need to echo, and her sister’s response is tense, but eases with every knot detangled.

“I know. We don’t have to tell him.”

They don’t, she realizes. Leave it to Rebecca Two to point that out, now that her sister is on the receiving end- It’s exactly what Rebecca One had needed to hear, though it soothes her as much as it puts her even more on edge. “What if he finds out?” She asks, a little breathless- And her voice hitches as Rebecca Two tugs lightly on a knot.

“How would he ever find out?”

Rebecca One doesn’t know the answer to that. She shifts a bit where she sits, and rests her hands in her lap, trying not to fidget with them as she shrugs and enjoys the sensation of her sister’s fingers in her hair. Father feels omniscient sometimes- Of the pair of them, her sister has always seemed the most impervious to that feeling, and the twin cannot deny some amount of jealousy over that.

“I didn’t mean to throw up on you after you Darklit me,” she offers in supplication, unable to provide anything of substance to what her sister had asked of her. She knows it was rhetorical, but feels the need to reply anyway. Rebecca Two laughs harshly behind her, and the sound makes her flinch for a brief moment before she relaxes. 

“All part of the charm,” the second twin replies, finishing her brushing and sitting back to appreciate her work. Much like her sister had done, she smooths her hand over the other girl’s locks from root to tip and hums, Rebecca One leaning into the touch. “The Dark Light will always be messy. Just have to remember it’s a means to an end.”

“Mm.” A small grunt from Rebecca One as she puts some distance between them, seeming to consider a question before deciding against it. “We should sleep. There’s no telling what they have planned for us tomorrow, assuming father hasn’t cheated and told you again?” A brow is lifted in curiosity, and her sister shakes her head.

“No,” she says unhelpfully, huffing out a deep breath. “No such luck.”

“Typical,” Rebecca One replies somewhat bitterly as she scales the ladder that divides their bunks. There is a moment of silence before she hears her sister’s weight sink onto the bunk below her, and she does the same, the positioning of her pillow leaving her heart pounding in her ears to an almost deafening degree. Beyond it, she can still hear her sister’s breathing- The rhythm of it, steady but slightly uneven, says she is still awake.

Rebecca One does her best to commit the sound to memory, swallowing all the questions in her throat. There is something buzzing in her chest, tight and loud and easy to define, like the feeling of the Dark Light, but warm; It is almost as uncomfortable, in a different way. She closes her eyes and lets it linger, knowing better than to fight.

She doesn’t sleep until her sister does. When her breathing goes slow and steady, Rebecca One follows her into the dark.

What’s the worst that could happen?


End file.
